Ode to a slug

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times!Which really combined to make it an absolutely ordinary day for Dick Dickyson. Not that he cared though. Nay sir, all his day was spent cleaning, washing, feeding,vacuuming and stamping his pet slug every 3 hours. It could take its toll on anybody and Dick was no exception! He didnt even get any time to talk to his mommy
and daddy, the fire brigade and his beautiful and just about marriageable lovely girlfriend Rita. But his is a story NOT to be tackled coz serious matters are screaming to be dealt today!! It was Dick Dickyson's neighbor who concerns us today. Yes it was Mr Peter(who would be the neighbor) who went to the local theater and saw Mrs. Stevens who's husband was in the British army that forms the crux of our story. Ahh it is with the British Army who had their training in Cornwall whose mayor Mr. Pied had a son with six fingers which frightened young Lisa who bumped into John who was the son of the local bartender that our story begins.The bartender worked in the Smith pub and hated the boisterous young crowd and the drinking and the smoking and realized that this wasnt his dream job after all. So he quit and went after his true love: the outlawed,dangerous,passionate,glamorous job of all time: SLUG DEALING! Thus ends our remarkable story! Applause anybody??

Good news for our audience: The narrator was shot soon after this narration for a pathetic storyline and the absence of a convincing punchline to cap this tearjerker.

Tales of an animal kind

Our story starts like any other story doing rounds these days: with a frog. And an ugly one at that. Now frogs are ugly but this amphibian whom we shall address as Mr. Jones( for no particular reason) made the others look like Rupert Hick(another cooked up name). Well Alison
indeed liked to skydive a lot you know! I swear she did!!Hang on, got my stories confused. My bad!Well Mr. Jones fell in love with a hamster who thought he was handsome for obvious reasons.But as hamster's go, she was a little conservative. So Mr. Jones was asked to climb
the age old oak tree called Alan (just for fun) and well, jump from the top(family traditions which as family traditions go are a bit silly).

The stage lights suddenly dim and the crowd go home satisfied with a smashing entertaining movie. Alison jumped out of the plane and aahhhhhhh.......Jeez another detour sorry. Well little Polly was puzzled by the movie! She thought and thought. Well she aint particularly
smart so she probably just thought once. In the end, she could bear it no more. She had to get to the bottom of the story. So she asked the flight instructor Ali.... naah nearly went down that corner again didnt I? She asked her dad the one thing that was bothering her the most about
that wholesome beautiful movie. "Dad" she asked "Why was the frog blue in
the movie?"
The narrator of this story was soon run over by a mouse and we could not find a way to contact little Polly's dad (Mr. Simon ofcourse) to ask him about his answer to little Polly's and indeed the reader's burning question.

NOTE- Alison did indeed reach the ground in one piece.

Tell me your dreams!

This was a toughie! Should he take out the Mercedes or the classy Aston Martin for the prime minister's official banquet? Ron Jones had it all indeed! As one of the most successful and acclaimed actors of his generation, he was used to being mobbed and envied at. The NY Times 'Hottest Bachelor' eventually decided on the Aston Martin and sped off to pick up Louise (his
date for the evening) for the banquet.After meeting his adulating and jealous admirers (including the prime minister), Ron drove back to his bachelor pad with Louise for a night of some action.
Ron woke up early in the morning and walked the 10 miles in his tattered clothes and on an empty stomach to his workplace. He was struggling to make ends meet as a child labourer at the clothes factory but atleast he now had a reason to live!